Jeremy Lion 

Well gracious me. Apologies for my lack of updates but an awful lot has happened in recent weeks. Leslie and I were nominated for an award in Edinburgh which is all well and good but it won't cut much mustard with the local education authorities. I desperately need my tour of primary schools to recoup some of the Edinburgh costs. As ever, it was an expensive month. It looks like we may lose our deposit on the flat after Mr Runcorn ate a whole Terry's chocolate orange I had bought as a gift for our technician and made a succession of very potent mucks all over the bedroom. Leslie very graciously took him away to the dogs home in Leith and says that he has found a new family to live with where "he will be no bother". Many thanks Leslie. The journey back was quite lengthy as Pat had to come and collect us once again and she has had another eczema attack, and so has to wear driving gloves. These prevent her signalling. I shall try and "fill you all in" (youthspeak) when I have time but I promised I would visit O'Brien and help him with his shower curtain. It is a shame Mr Runcorn is not still with us. O'Brien would like him.